Hello again owners and dog obessors.
It’s been almost a full year since I wrote about not being able to get a job despite my fuckin’ fabulous typing skills.
Well, you should be ecstatic to hear that I indeed, eventually, got a full-time doggy job.
It was difficult.
I pawed on doors.
Barked from the rooftops.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
But I am pleased to say I am now an accountant.
Yes, the days of sneaking into math class and studying have paid off.
Thankfully, my owner’s office now allows her to take me!
Well, to be honest, it’s less of a job and more of an internship.
To put it simply: I don’t do shit there.
Yet.
But I will once the human bosses see how intelligent I am.
I peer over my owner’s shoulder and bark as she makes simple accounting errors.
You think my efforts at correcting her would make her happy?
She wasn’t.
“FABIO!” she’d yell as she scolded me.
The whole office looks at me and I almost die of embarassment.
But I don’t.
Because I’m too rebellious for that.
I’m better at accounting than all of these so-called-accounts.
But guys. Seriously.
Now that you’ve read so far, I trust you enough to tell you the real reason I’ve taken a year off.
My Secret…
After the campaigning and election of Donald Trump, I knew I had to do something.
I knew there would soon be a job opening bigger than anything I could ever apply for.
So, now, currently, I am studying and investing all of my full-time spare-time to learning how to become the president of the United States.
Our president clearly is incompetant and we know Mike Pence is far too out of touch with da times — so it will soon be my doggly duty to step in as President Fabio.
Yes, you should know that your reading the future president’s blog.
I’m trying to tone down my act.
But then I realized– Do I have to? Trump didn’t.
I’m trying to study American history.
But then I realized– Do I have to? Trump didn’t.
I realize I had to stop labelling everyone who disliked me a “LIAR” “TRAITOR” or “TOTALLY BIASED AGAINST ME.”
But then I realized– Trump didn’t.
You see the mess he’s making! It’s rumoured that he doesn’t even LIKE DOGS!
It’s a Cat-astrope!
But I’m almost ready to step in. It will be pawsitively amazing.
See you soon.
When I’m dominating the world,
